[O.W.W.L Journey] Guest blog post on a vital insight – Compassion!

I love to feature my clients and their brilliance in my posts! Megan Feldman Bettencourt’s award-winning journalism has appeared in publications including Details, Glamour, and Southwest: The Magazine. Her first book, Triumph of the Heart: Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World, launches from Penguin this summer. You can pre-order it here, and visit her here.

Self-Compassion: Why it Matters

Most of us are harder on ourselves than we are on others. Why does it matter? Research shows that people who are able to forgive themselves are happier in their relationships and perform better in work and play than their more self-blaming peers.

A few weeks ago I was trying to will my newborn to sleep. I’d changed him, fed him, and burped him, so why was he still wailing? By 6 a.m., I hadn’t slept and was losing my mind. I actually emailed my husband, who was asleep in the other room, and titled my message, “Please shoot me.” He soon found me sobbing and unable to form an intelligible sentence. He took one look at our son and said, “It looks like he’s cold.” That was it. He was cold. He needed more clothing, and once we put some on, he went right to sleep.

I felt like an idiot. But then I stopped myself. If I kept up the self-flagellation through every minor oversight, the next 18 years would be hell for all of us (and visiting his mother in a mental hospital would certainly be embarrassing for the poor kid). I’m certainly not perfect at self-love, but I’m getting better. On another recent night, after I accidentally spilled a container of all-too-valuable breast milk, I just laughed at my delirium, cleaned it up, and moved on. Life is so much easier when we stop wasting time berating ourselves and remember to have a sense of humor. Not to mention, give ourselves the kindness and compassion we would give a friend.

Remember to give yourself a break today! What can you forgive yourself for today?

The thing that is really hard and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. ~ Anna Quindlen