[O.W.W.L. Success Tip] What vital element might be missing from your communication style?
In last week’s Thursday O.W.W.L. Journey blog post, guest author and client Megan Feldman wrote a great personal experience which reminded me of a most important element in human relationships.
O.W.W.L. Success Tip: Substitute defense with compassion in uncomfortable communications. (Click to Tweet)
When we have uncomfortable relationships or disagreements, the first thing we might do is to protect and defend ourselves. We rationalize, make excuses, or make the other person wrong. When we are hurt or angered, it’s hard to do otherwise.
However, a more empowering approach is to access our compassionate side, the higher self who sees both sides of the situation. Compassion brings us together and allows a greater understanding with-out the fear that we or they are not enough.
What would you have to let go of in order to be compassionate with others? What would you have to embrace to be compassionate with yourself? Why not practice compassion this week?
Compassionately,
P.S. I am hosting a free live teleclass you will want to attend on May 13. It covers the three areas that make my heart sing: weight loss sabotages, building businesses, and making money. Watch for more information coming soon on how to register for the free class.
P.P.S. Many people who follow and appreciate my work are earning commissions by referring others. I love to pay commissions! If you would like to become an affiliate in my Reciprocity Program, please “Become an Affiliate”.
[O.W.W.L Journey] Guest blog post on a vital insight – Compassion!
I love to feature my clients and their brilliance in my posts! Megan Feldman Bettencourt’s award-winning journalism has appeared in publications including Details, Glamour, and Southwest: The Magazine. Her first book, Triumph of the Heart: Forgiveness in an Unforgiving World, launches from Penguin this summer. You can pre-order it here, and visit her here.
Self-Compassion: Why it Matters
Most of us are harder on ourselves than we are on others. Why does it matter? Research shows that people who are able to forgive themselves are happier in their relationships and perform better in work and play than their more self-blaming peers.
A few weeks ago I was trying to will my newborn to sleep. I’d changed him, fed him, and burped him, so why was he still wailing? By 6 a.m., I hadn’t slept and was losing my mind. I actually emailed my husband, who was asleep in the other room, and titled my message, “Please shoot me.” He soon found me sobbing and unable to form an intelligible sentence. He took one look at our son and said, “It looks like he’s cold.” That was it. He was cold. He needed more clothing, and once we put some on, he went right to sleep.
I felt like an idiot. But then I stopped myself. If I kept up the self-flagellation through every minor oversight, the next 18 years would be hell for all of us (and visiting his mother in a mental hospital would certainly be embarrassing for the poor kid). I’m certainly not perfect at self-love, but I’m getting better. On another recent night, after I accidentally spilled a container of all-too-valuable breast milk, I just laughed at my delirium, cleaned it up, and moved on. Life is so much easier when we stop wasting time berating ourselves and remember to have a sense of humor. Not to mention, give ourselves the kindness and compassion we would give a friend.
Remember to give yourself a break today! What can you forgive yourself for today?
The thing that is really hard and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. ~ Anna Quindlen
[O.W.W.L. Success Tip] Which Pillar of Success is missing from your leadership?
I have written previously about the two pillars of success for any endeavor. I featured one of these in last Thursday’s blog post with an article written by client and colleague Gale O’Brien. She knows this first-hand, as she is a cancer survivor and health advocate.
O.W.W.L. Success Tip: To attain ultimate success in any endeavor, you must have 90% or above in the two Pillars of Success.
The first pillar of success is Well-Being, as Gale’s article discusses. In leadership, we call this Leader Care with a daily practice of doing things that regenerate, renew, and resource you.
The second pillar of success is integrity, which means being whole and complete – no parts broken. High integrity means doing things from commitment, inspiration, and because you said you would. Keeping your promises to yourself and others is a hallmark of a great leader.
Are you at 100% in both of these? If not, what can you do today to move in that direction?
Warmly,
P.S. I am hosting a free live teleclass you will want to attend on May 13. It covers the three areas that warm the cockles of my heart: weight loss sabotages, building businesses, and making money. Watch for more information coming soon on how to register for the free class.
P.P.S. Many people who follow and appreciate my work are earning commissions by referring others. I love to pay commissions! Become an affiliate in my Reciprocity Program.
[Current O.W.W.L. Journey] #1 Sabotage Pattern in my book
My book is in the production phase and should be ready in 2 -3 weeks! Thank you to everyone who helped me choose a title. And thank you to all who read the book and gave me wonderful, beautiful endorsements, which will be in the first part of the book!
The main focus for writing this book was to highlight my nine Ontological Wealth, Weight, and Leadership Sabotage Patterns and how to eliminate them. Although the book was written specifically for weight loss, the patterns themselves are applicable to all areas of life. Clinical psychologist, coach, author, and speaker Gail Feldman, PhD, wrote:
“I love the book and am recommending it to everyone, not just those who want to lose weight.”
I will share more about my book closer to debut time, but the reason I bring it up now is to underscore that these sabotage patterns apply to everyone. I am thankful that I received the inspiration to distinguish them!
Speaking of sabotage patterns, everyone wants to know the #1 sabotage pattern preventing permanent weight loss (which I teach my certified weight loss coaches), and here it is! If you have not seen it yet, please download my free report and share with those you know and love, especially with coaches, health professionals, and prospective coaches so that they may help others. My mission is to help those who suffer and struggle with weight. I do this by training coaches and health professionals in my work. Together we can change lives!
Discover the #1 Sabotage Pattern Preventing Permanent Weight
Loss And GET Proven Tips to Eliminate It.
Access my FREE report and start using these tips today!
Happy April to you,
P.S. BIG NEWS: I have created a short-term intensive program to teach ALL NINE of the sabotage patterns preventing permanent weight loss and how to eliminate them. If you would like to learn more about these, simply download my free report and then apply for a complimentary consultation offered therein…no obligation whatsoever!
Access my FREE report and start using these tips today!
Success Story:
[Janis’s book] demonstrates real insights into the emotional issues around weight loss and gives keys to make lasting change. By understanding how to shift self-sabotaging patterns, you will be able to get out of your own way and set the stage for successful and lasting weight loss.
~ Delicia M. Haynes, M.D.
Diplomat of the American Board of Family Medicine
Diplomat of the American Board of Obesity Medicine
C.E.O. of Family First Health Center
Founder of Premier Physician Consulting
Creator of “Diabetes Free Naturally” & “Love Yourself to Less”
Integrative Medical Weight Loss Method
[OWWL Success Tip] Do you let other people’s opinions determine your worth?
As a premier Ontological Wealth, Weight, and Leadership coach, I have seen people suppress their greatness due to fear of the reactions of others opinions. You may be holding yourself back in many ways and don’t even know it. Suppression of your authentic, powerful self is #9 of my O.W.W.L. Sabotage Patterns and can be easily shifted once you are aware of it.
[O. W. W. L. Success Tip] What other people think of you is none of your business (Click to Tweet)
When we are afraid of what others think about us, we suppress our true selves. When we suppress ourselves, we devalue ourselves, diminishing our self-worth. Suppression shows up in your life in ways which you may not have identified. Here are some common patterns, and they may be conscious or unconscious:
- If I make too much money, people won’t like or accept me.
- If I speak my opinion, people will get angry.
- If I set strong boundaries about what I want and don’t want, people will leave.
- If I show my emotions, I will appear weak.
- If I let my emotions out, I won’t be able to stop them, and I’ll lose control.
- If I share or celebrate my accomplishments, people will think I’m vain.
- If I am too happy (or sad), people won’t want to be around me.
- If I make a mistake, I will look stupid.
All of these mindsets and more keep us suppressed and inauthentic. They keep us safe and mediocre. Notice where you are suppressing yourself, and notice why. Your insights will fascinate you!
If you want to learn more about the O.W.W.L. 9 Ontological Sabotage Patterns, especially the #1 top sabotage pattern preventing permanent weight loss, please download my free report now!
Warmly,
P. S. People always ask me, “What is the #1 sabotage pattern preventing permanent weight loss?” because of my reputation and history with weight loss. So I’ve created a free gift just for this purpose that I want to share with you in case you have not received it yet. Please download my free report and share this link with coaches, health professionals, and prospective coaches so that they may also receive it. Obesity is a major health problem these days. Together we can change lives!
Discover the #1 Sabotage Pattern Preventing Permanent Weight
Loss And GET Proven Tips to Eliminate It.
Access my FREE report and start using these tips today!
Success Story:
Janis is one of the most amazing and powerful executive coaches I have had the pleasure of working with. She literally helped me to break through barriers that had been keeping me stuck for years. She is nurturing and caring; yet, strong and effective. Her primary goal is to move you forward and hold you as powerful at all times. It is truly a gift to work with her!
~ Becky J. Benes, Transformational Speaker
Authentic Leadership Development Coach
www.OnenessOfLife.com
Just Released!
Lose Weight for Life:
9 Unconscious reasons you can’t keep the weight off and what to do about it
ORDER NOW
9 Unconscious reasons you can’t keep the weight off and what to do about it
ORDER NOW