My Current Weight Loss Journey: Week 8 I Want to be Like Everyone Else

I attended Girls’ Night Out recently where we meet at a home and bring covered dishes for dinner. I notice that when I attend something like GNO, or Ladies Bunko, or a neighborhood party, I always behave in one of two ways:

I either tell myself I am restricted from eating the naughty things or I tell myself I can eat whatever I want.

This is definitely an “All or Nothing” mentality. In the O.W. L. Programs, we call it the “Either/Or” context.

Ok, so I already know this. I teach in the O.W.L. weight loss and money programs how to dispel the Entitlement/Deprivation sabotages. I also teach regularly how to shift to a “Both/And” context. What is interesting to me is why it comes up for me.

I hit the nail on the head today! I want to be like everyone else. I want to fit in. I want to be liked. If I am uncomfortable and not fitting it, I numb my feelings by eating the wrong stuff or else I become Nazi lady and eat nothing. If others are eating a bunch of junk, I want to eat it too.

On the other hand, if I hang around people who eat healthily, I want to do that too. At a recent GNO at my home I invited a friend who dropped 50 pounds last year with my O.W.L. support. Being very committed to keeping it off (see the Keep It Off Club at www.owlweightloss.com/programs/keepitoffclub/ for information on that program), she brought a veggie tray as her contribution, thus giving me “permission” to fit in by eating vegetables instead of the other more fattening foods.

So here is my weight loss work this week: I must ignore my inner, insecure, people-pleasing saboteur and remember to tell myself, in the words of an old “Saturday Night Live” character, Stewart Smalley, “I’m good enough; I’m smart enough; and dog-gone-it, people like me!” By the way, I’ll weigh tomorrow and give you an update next time.

I would love you to share your sabotage patterns and how you shift them.