[My Current Weight Loss Journey] Avoiding the Sabotage of Sacrifice/Entitlement
In my free teleclass last week, “Become the Ultimate Coach: 3 Secrets to extraordinary profits and results in your weight loss practice,” I discussed one of the 9 ontological weight loss sabotage patterns that overweight people run into. It’s called Sacrifice/Entitlement, and I chose this one to talk about because this time of year (holidays and New Years), this one is right in our faces. (For the recording of this class, please visit www.JanisPullen.com/ultimatecoach/.)
The mindset of Sacrifice/Entitlement, also known as Deprivation/Indulgence shows up like this: During the holidays, people feel entitled and indulge themselves with food and inactivity. They give themselves permission to indulge and feel entitled to eat whatever they want. This period of “entitlement/indulgence” is followed by the “sacrifice/deprivation” in January of starting a rigid diet and exercise program. They cut back severely with the illusion that they will drop the weight that they gained in December.
Unfortunately, statistics show that this is fallacy. When people have been on the program for a while, unless something changes, the mindset is deprivation. You know the statistics; the determination doesn’t last long. Before long, entitlement sets in, and they fall off the program. Now they’re back into indulgence/entitlement.
On a daily basis, we see this sabotage pattern when people skip breakfast and lunch (sacrifice/deprivation), then start eating at dinner throughout the evening (entitlement/indulgence).
In the area of movement/exercise, this sabotage shows up when we over exert ourselves one day (sacrifice) and use that as an excuse to do nothing the next day (entitlement).
The sacrifice/entitlement sabotage doesn’t have to be triggered by food or exercise. If someone has worked hard and been stressed out during the day (sacrifice), she might believe she “deserves” to have a few glasses of wine in the evening to compensate (entitlement). Any time people eat or drink because they deserve it, you can bet there is sacrifice/entitlement sabotage at work.
The mindset for the sacrifice/entitlement sabotage pattern is an all-or-nothing, either-or context. The mindset is “I deserve this because I did that.” Or the reverse – “because I did that, I now can’t have that.” The problem, as with all the sabotage patterns, is that they destroy any chance of long-term, sustained weight loss and maintenance. To discover how to deal with this sabotage, be sure to listen to the “Become the Ultimate Coach” audio at www.JanisPullen.com/ultimatecoach/.
If you are curious about the Ontological Weight Loss Sabotage Patterns, you might be interested in learning about our O.W.L. Certification and Training Program for coaches and health professionals. The new program starts next month and only has 10 slots available. Early bird registration ends tomorrow, so hurry! Contact me at Janis@JanisPullen.com to discover if this is a fit for you in your business this year.
Here are some resources to check out:
- If you are a coach or a health practitioner who would like a booming business and would like to help people keep their weight off forever, please check out the new O.W.L. Weight Loss Certification and Training Program which begins in February. This program combines leadership skills, powerful coaching techniques, business building training, as well as teaching the 9 sabotage patterns block permanent weight loss and how to shift them. Contact me at Janis@JanisPullen.com or visit www.owlweightloss.com/programs/certificationtrainingprogram/ for more information. This program can be your pathway to expanding your income stream and improving your finances in the coming year.
- Special FREE teleclass so important this time of year: “The Ultimate Coach: Three secrets to extraordinary profits and results in your weight loss practice. To receive the recording of this class held last week, please visit www.JanisPullen.com/ultimatecoach/.
- Special Weight of Money Breakthrough 90-day Group Coaching Program. Visit www.JanisPullen.com and click the “Wealth” tab, then click on “Weight of Money Breakthrough Programs.” Then contact me for specific details.
With gratitude,
Success Story
Janis’ approach to public speaking and workshops is straightforward, truthful, interesting, compassionate, humorous, prepared, and educated. She is a natural-born leader as well as speaker and conveyor of truth, inspiration, and information. One-on-one Janis exemplifies compassion, honesty, and confidentiality. The value I have received as a recipient of her coaching, as a workshop participant or audience member is invaluable, important, and life-altering. Janis is a woman who walks her talk. I recommend Janis as a leader, speaker, or coach, and I am grateful for the opportunity to sing her praises. Please feel free to contact me for further information.
~Rita Stafford
[Success Tip] Does Lack of Trust Make Me Fat and Broke?
What does trust have to do with success? So many times, we who are control freaks, cynics, perfectionists, or people-pleasers carry too much physical weight and also the weight of money because of compulsive, obsessive behaviors, such as eating, spending, or working too hard, as we try to control everything.
These compulsions can come from lack of trust of us, others, or the Divine.
[Success Tip] Consider giving trust as a gift.
This week how about practicing trust as a gift?
Not because someone earned it, but because you chose to trust. Will you trust yourself in making a powerful decision or trusting your intuition? Will you trust your partner by asking for help? Will you trust God/higher power to handle what you cannot handle alone? Choosing to give trust expands your world. Greater success in any project is enhanced when you trust yourself, others, and the process.
As I mentioned last week, I have worked with many couples in business, relationship, and weight loss. The mutual support is incredible, especially when accountability and integrity are at stake, for instance in sticking to a food plan, exercise regimen, deadline, or budget. When we work with a buddy, we shift several unconscious sabotage patterns, including “Separate and Alone,” “Addiction to Suffering,” and “Playing Small.” Also the ability to celebrate milestones together makes it much more fun, which adds velocity to the process. But before we can fully appreciate the power of partnering, we have to be willing to trust the partner, ourselves, and the partnership.
Speaking of trusting a partner, if you and your partner are overweight and would like a proven Weight Loss Quick Start together, please visit http://www.owlweightloss.com/programs/couples-quick-start-program/ for details and registration information.
See the Success Story below for how partnership works for a couple trusting each other and doing their work together.
Trusting you to trust others,
P.S. As I implied in this article, the Couple’s Weight Loss Quick Start web page is up! For details and registration information, please visit http://www.owlweightloss.com/programs/couples-quick-start-program/.
OWL Success Tip: If the wrong stuff will kill me, why do I eat it anyway?
Do you know why you eat the wrong stuff – sweets, starches, fats, salt, and artificial food? We know that food is medicine; it can either make you well or it can kill you.
There are several reasons we don’t eat right: upbringing, habit, social pressure, entitlement, comfort, loneliness, fatigue, rebellion, convenience, lack of information, self-loathing, and emotional eating are just a few. On the other hand, people who take exquisite care of themselves honor their bodies and their emotions. They nourish their bodies and express their emotions instead of ignoring both.
Success Tip: The first step for someone with a weight problem is to distinguish WHY you are eating the wrong stuff and address those reasons. Be aware; be conscious; be healthy. This is exactly what we will be doing the second weekend in September, when we have our next O.W.L. Jump Start Retreat.
Here are some reasons you will want to register now:
We will not stop with figuring out the “Why.” We also will get to the root causes of your excess weight, identifying core blocks and sabotage patterns and creating solid solutions and new action steps.
We will also define a comprehensive vision and create a strategic customized plan bigger than your resistances.
AND…we will have a lot of fun learning to express yourself, to play, to love your body, and to open the door to abundant and generous receptivity.
For more information and registration details, including an early bird savings, please visit www.OWLWeightloss.com/programs/jumpstart.
My Current Weight Loss Journey: Week 8 I Want to be Like Everyone Else
I attended Girls’ Night Out recently where we meet at a home and bring covered dishes for dinner. I notice that when I attend something like GNO, or Ladies Bunko, or a neighborhood party, I always behave in one of two ways:
I either tell myself I am restricted from eating the naughty things or I tell myself I can eat whatever I want.
This is definitely an “All or Nothing” mentality. In the O.W. L. Programs, we call it the “Either/Or” context.
Ok, so I already know this. I teach in the O.W.L. weight loss and money programs how to dispel the Entitlement/Deprivation sabotages. I also teach regularly how to shift to a “Both/And” context. What is interesting to me is why it comes up for me.
I hit the nail on the head today! I want to be like everyone else. I want to fit in. I want to be liked. If I am uncomfortable and not fitting it, I numb my feelings by eating the wrong stuff or else I become Nazi lady and eat nothing. If others are eating a bunch of junk, I want to eat it too.
On the other hand, if I hang around people who eat healthily, I want to do that too. At a recent GNO at my home I invited a friend who dropped 50 pounds last year with my O.W.L. support. Being very committed to keeping it off (see the Keep It Off Club at www.owlweightloss.com/programs/keepitoffclub/ for information on that program), she brought a veggie tray as her contribution, thus giving me “permission” to fit in by eating vegetables instead of the other more fattening foods.
So here is my weight loss work this week: I must ignore my inner, insecure, people-pleasing saboteur and remember to tell myself, in the words of an old “Saturday Night Live” character, Stewart Smalley, “I’m good enough; I’m smart enough; and dog-gone-it, people like me!” By the way, I’ll weigh tomorrow and give you an update next time.
I would love you to share your sabotage patterns and how you shift them.
My Current Weight Loss Journey: Week 3 A Breakdown So Soon?
In coaching clients I declare we’ve had a breakdown when there is a gap in communication or a break of some kind in the path to success or intention. So I declare a breakdown! In other words, “I screwed up!”
I didn’t see it coming.
- First, I got cocky and stopped logging/tracking my food daily. I figured I was doing so well, that I could stick to my food program without writing it down. That was mistake #1. Whenever my ego advises me instead of my integrity, I should know that’s a red flag. I basically ignored a very important support structure for myself. And when I get sloppy in one area, I usually get worse before I get better.
- Second, my dear friend had brain surgery last week. On the surface I was fine, visiting her every day in Intensive Care and being strong for her family. However, deep inside my abandonment issues were festering. I already lost my mother to suicide when I was six, another dear friend to lung cancer several years ago, my dad, and several other friends and relatives. I HATE when people go away! And seeing my friend with memory loss and confusion when she has been so intellectually oriented hooked my emotional response that said she was going away too. So what does any good food addict do in these circumstances? Well, she eats comfort food – in this case in the hospital café with coke, french-fries, and a sandwich…with not even a green vegetable in sight! What does any good O.W.L. person do? She realizes the mindset of “Just this once” is deadly and there is something deeper going on. She calls a friend. She cries. She knows going off her program is not the answer to a heart that’s hurting. I was not a good O.W.L. person last week.
- Third, my mother-in-law needed help in other town, so we drove there for a quick visit. She is a sweet person; but she is elderly, stubborn, and forgetful, plus she makes choices that I don’t agree with. When we visit, I must always focus on having patience and keeping my mouth shut, being a good daughter-in-law. As we neared her town, I noticed myself getting fidgety. I began to compensate for emotions I didn’t want to feel by stuffing down my thoughts and words with sugar foods. I realized too late that I had not prepared myself for this with an alternate plan or any plan. And I should have because it happens every time when I don’t prepare.
- Fourth, I’m not even going to tell you about the emergency dental work that was done this week, leaving me scared and wanting comfort!
Now my urge is to go on a fast to get rid of all the bad food. It’s also a way to punish myself. I notice the “Sacrifice/Entitlement” sabotage pattern big time. I felt entitled to eat because of my emotions so now it’s time to sacrifice. But I will not fast. I will forgive myself. I will resume my food log. I will resume my Level 1 food program today! I will talk to a friend and my coach about my feelings. I know that by getting back on track I can drop those pounds new pounds and keep losing the old ones.
Just Released!
Lose Weight for Life:
9 Unconscious reasons you can’t keep the weight off and what to do about it
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9 Unconscious reasons you can’t keep the weight off and what to do about it
ORDER NOW